i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
