Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
