I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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