piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize