we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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