about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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