chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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