Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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