I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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