if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
