Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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