but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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