i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
