Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize
