I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
