So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Randomize
