i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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