Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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