The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
