Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
