3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
