dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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