Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
