the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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