do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
