I wanna bring you to show and tell
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
