stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
