I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize