Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
