recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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