Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
