I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
