You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
