You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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