Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
