even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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