Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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