I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
