...so i touched it.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
