Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
