Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
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