I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
