u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
