So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
