I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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