We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
