why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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