Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
