So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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