At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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