I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
