I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Randomize
