eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
