yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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