I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
