I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
