I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
