So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Randomize
