My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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