the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
