found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
