So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
