he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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