her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize