You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
