oh fat girl friday strikes again...
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
